All last weekend my sister kept saying "my grass is green enough," so that in combination with this newsletter has me reevaluating some things! I do want to use the things I have (books, candles, fabric, craft supplies, journals) before getting new ones.
My grass is green enough! I love that - I really feel that like, I have all the things I dreamed of, I just happened to go into debt to get some of them. So now it's time to enjoy the grass and save some money!
Reading this made me cry? A question because that surprised me, and sparked some inquiry I've been avoiding. Thank you for your generous sharing as ever. xx
Thanks for this reflection, Cody! I really liked seeing your Spending Ban spreadsheet. Your "questions" column reminds me of a spending practice I have for myself (that I started earlier this year): a monthly holds/contemplations tracking sheet. Basically I track everything I wanted to buy or nearly impulsed buy. I note the date I wanted to buy it, the cost, and any notes about what else might have been going on as I longed for the item(s) (boredom? fear? PMS? hunger? etc?). This last bit is to explore if I have any common triggers or states that 'inspire' spending. At the end of the month I review the list and allow myself to purchase up to 25% (going by $ amount) of what I still want from the list. The thing is, usually at the end of the month there is very little to nothing I still want. It has been a transformative and informative practice for me. (I am still figuring out the best energetic flow of the 75%...I feel like I need to ritualize it more by transferring what I didn't spend into my high yield savings account rather than just acknowledging it out loud - and cringing - when I review the spreadsheet. Haha. Any ideas?) I think I might borrow your framing of "questions" as I carry this practice into 2025. Hugs and solidarity in growing in the toughest of places.
yes yes I love this! I made a column in my spending ban sheet of things I didn't buy this month that I would have impulsively and it added up to $700 (more like $4700 because some of them were monthly subscriptions) And yes I LOVE the idea of taking the other 75% and moving it to HYS - thats basically what I did this past month except put it toward my CC debt :) I feel like these little moves we experiment with make it more fun, and we can always change them!
I'm taking Bear's class on your recommendation, and yesterday listened to Becca's contribution, 'Following Through Gently.' She said, "being too permissive is a form of neglect," and while she's speaking to the use of time, I think it's highly applicable to the use of money as well. I really like your approach and feel it's in keeping with that wisdom--saving or paying down debt while also allowing one latte or a book out of town, etc. is 'compassion plus internal boundaries.'
Yes yes. So glad you're taking Bear's class! And thanks it's helpful to get new frameworks to figure out what I want to allow next year. Love 'compassion plus internal boundaries' thank you Jennifer :)
So effing good and so effing helpful, I’ve also been deleting all gift guides and using the whole idea that the best self control is not tempting oneself in the first place. Love you, ly.
I pictured you sitting in the corner at Cosco with your pizza slice, knitting and being at peace. Somehow for me it’s a fun picture of dealing with our money stuff as a revolutionary step in our capitalist system.
Why are there so many gift guides? I want to be compassionate to how people make their own living I suppose but it made me feel very bummed out. I am sad about how everything eventually feels like a vehicle for capitalism. anyways I went through and cut down my substack subscriptions and deleted all of my emails, which were somehow mostly marketing. I am really trying to reroute my brain away from the buy buy buy feeling- all this overconsumption is sure to be our demise !!!! all this to say thank you Cody as always for your well timed thoughts. peace and love 💞
Yes yes I really feel you I was surprised at so many gift guides. But also if someone added one of my books to a gift guide I'd be delighted :) Existing within capitalism is a wild ride!
sitting in a coffee shop finishing up the bulk of my work-year, in my noise canceling headphones, eager to get it all done so i can come back here & savor in the spending plan sitch i so need in my life!! MWAH
Budgeting is one thing I still haven’t quite figured out so thank you for sharing these resources! I’ll definitely be checking these out and maybe will also retry YNAB.
Yes I find that using the entry point of the language of a "spending plan" rather than budget really helps me (even though in theory it's the same activity). It also just helps to look at it in the face like what are you already spending and then see where you can cut down, or where you want to increase!
I’ve been thinking a lot about money and the myth of money. The financial story I was told was you work hard in school then get your college degree and get a job and buy a car, a house, and save for retirement. Then at 65 you can have your mortgage paid off, travel, and not work and enjoy your retirement—umm that doesn’t seem to be adding up! I’m really interested to hear if you or other readers have any insights on financial planning while we are building a new story? When I’ve met with planners in the past, I’ve been dismayed at how much more money I need to make to be able to “retire comfortably.” The job I have doesn’t pay me a lot, but it gives me all I need and I don’t feel burnt out and stressed constantly. I have time to be with friends and family, go outside, and do work that I feel good about, so to trade that for a job where I *might* make more money to save for later feels…like a missed opportunity to live the life that I love now? Anyway—I’ve been really curious about a new way to look at future financial planning and would love to hear any resource shares for that!
Yes yes I mean I really feel this - I don't want to overwork today to be able to retire early but not enjoy my life right now. I am def taking a middle path approach with the spending ban where I am really cutting back so that I can eventually save - I am also choosing to save and have an emergency fund (or in DA they call it a prudent reserve) so that if something happens I can rely on my actual money and not go into more debt. Its really a dance between all the financial advice and what is most true for you :)
Wow. A lot for me to contemplate here, and I so appreciate you sharing both your POV as well as so many helpful resources. I have been avoiding avoiding avoiding money chat even though I had it as a goal for 2024. This is timely as ever -- thank you!
All last weekend my sister kept saying "my grass is green enough," so that in combination with this newsletter has me reevaluating some things! I do want to use the things I have (books, candles, fabric, craft supplies, journals) before getting new ones.
My grass is green enough! I love that - I really feel that like, I have all the things I dreamed of, I just happened to go into debt to get some of them. So now it's time to enjoy the grass and save some money!
Reading this made me cry? A question because that surprised me, and sparked some inquiry I've been avoiding. Thank you for your generous sharing as ever. xx
xoxoxoxox
Thanks for this reflection, Cody! I really liked seeing your Spending Ban spreadsheet. Your "questions" column reminds me of a spending practice I have for myself (that I started earlier this year): a monthly holds/contemplations tracking sheet. Basically I track everything I wanted to buy or nearly impulsed buy. I note the date I wanted to buy it, the cost, and any notes about what else might have been going on as I longed for the item(s) (boredom? fear? PMS? hunger? etc?). This last bit is to explore if I have any common triggers or states that 'inspire' spending. At the end of the month I review the list and allow myself to purchase up to 25% (going by $ amount) of what I still want from the list. The thing is, usually at the end of the month there is very little to nothing I still want. It has been a transformative and informative practice for me. (I am still figuring out the best energetic flow of the 75%...I feel like I need to ritualize it more by transferring what I didn't spend into my high yield savings account rather than just acknowledging it out loud - and cringing - when I review the spreadsheet. Haha. Any ideas?) I think I might borrow your framing of "questions" as I carry this practice into 2025. Hugs and solidarity in growing in the toughest of places.
yes yes I love this! I made a column in my spending ban sheet of things I didn't buy this month that I would have impulsively and it added up to $700 (more like $4700 because some of them were monthly subscriptions) And yes I LOVE the idea of taking the other 75% and moving it to HYS - thats basically what I did this past month except put it toward my CC debt :) I feel like these little moves we experiment with make it more fun, and we can always change them!
so true! we can always change them. such a helpful reminder. and it gets to be fun!!
Yes making my spreadsheets colorful and beautiful has really helped me make it fun :)
I'm taking Bear's class on your recommendation, and yesterday listened to Becca's contribution, 'Following Through Gently.' She said, "being too permissive is a form of neglect," and while she's speaking to the use of time, I think it's highly applicable to the use of money as well. I really like your approach and feel it's in keeping with that wisdom--saving or paying down debt while also allowing one latte or a book out of town, etc. is 'compassion plus internal boundaries.'
Yes yes. So glad you're taking Bear's class! And thanks it's helpful to get new frameworks to figure out what I want to allow next year. Love 'compassion plus internal boundaries' thank you Jennifer :)
So effing good and so effing helpful, I’ve also been deleting all gift guides and using the whole idea that the best self control is not tempting oneself in the first place. Love you, ly.
I pictured you sitting in the corner at Cosco with your pizza slice, knitting and being at peace. Somehow for me it’s a fun picture of dealing with our money stuff as a revolutionary step in our capitalist system.
Grateful for how openly you share your practice!
Haha me and my pizza slice was very serene next to a car for sale and many tires :)
Why are there so many gift guides? I want to be compassionate to how people make their own living I suppose but it made me feel very bummed out. I am sad about how everything eventually feels like a vehicle for capitalism. anyways I went through and cut down my substack subscriptions and deleted all of my emails, which were somehow mostly marketing. I am really trying to reroute my brain away from the buy buy buy feeling- all this overconsumption is sure to be our demise !!!! all this to say thank you Cody as always for your well timed thoughts. peace and love 💞
Yes yes I really feel you I was surprised at so many gift guides. But also if someone added one of my books to a gift guide I'd be delighted :) Existing within capitalism is a wild ride!
I love all of this but also your spreadsheets are gorgeous!!! 😍
Thank you - making beautiful spreadsheets is my new hobby :)
sitting in a coffee shop finishing up the bulk of my work-year, in my noise canceling headphones, eager to get it all done so i can come back here & savor in the spending plan sitch i so need in my life!! MWAH
Budgeting is one thing I still haven’t quite figured out so thank you for sharing these resources! I’ll definitely be checking these out and maybe will also retry YNAB.
Yes I find that using the entry point of the language of a "spending plan" rather than budget really helps me (even though in theory it's the same activity). It also just helps to look at it in the face like what are you already spending and then see where you can cut down, or where you want to increase!
Honestly I often have to use words that are not as threatening/overwhelming to my brain in order to make changes, so this is a great tip!
I’ve been thinking a lot about money and the myth of money. The financial story I was told was you work hard in school then get your college degree and get a job and buy a car, a house, and save for retirement. Then at 65 you can have your mortgage paid off, travel, and not work and enjoy your retirement—umm that doesn’t seem to be adding up! I’m really interested to hear if you or other readers have any insights on financial planning while we are building a new story? When I’ve met with planners in the past, I’ve been dismayed at how much more money I need to make to be able to “retire comfortably.” The job I have doesn’t pay me a lot, but it gives me all I need and I don’t feel burnt out and stressed constantly. I have time to be with friends and family, go outside, and do work that I feel good about, so to trade that for a job where I *might* make more money to save for later feels…like a missed opportunity to live the life that I love now? Anyway—I’ve been really curious about a new way to look at future financial planning and would love to hear any resource shares for that!
Yes yes I mean I really feel this - I don't want to overwork today to be able to retire early but not enjoy my life right now. I am def taking a middle path approach with the spending ban where I am really cutting back so that I can eventually save - I am also choosing to save and have an emergency fund (or in DA they call it a prudent reserve) so that if something happens I can rely on my actual money and not go into more debt. Its really a dance between all the financial advice and what is most true for you :)
Yessss to all this! Thank you for your honesty Cody!
Wow. A lot for me to contemplate here, and I so appreciate you sharing both your POV as well as so many helpful resources. I have been avoiding avoiding avoiding money chat even though I had it as a goal for 2024. This is timely as ever -- thank you!