Thank you for sharing the pivots in your dynamics with Instagram. It can feel very hard to have boundaries around the platform, something I’m trying to have as well and it is feeling more like an obligation than something I enjoy. You sharing your feelings is helping me and so many others.
When I fear that I won't meet new people or find new work because I'm not on social media, I remember the wonderful people I've met in the near 3 years I've been writing my newsletter. These are new people I can have coffee with when I visit their city, or meet for a run or go on a hike or take photos with in a new place. Just because everyone is on every social media network doesn't mean I need to be there for the possibility of maybe meeting new / more people... and honestly that sounds exhausting! A newsletter is enough for me.
This is so real. It feels unescapable! I got a flip phone a couple months ago and was offline for a couple months, only checking in occassionally from my ipad. The flip phone is on a second line so that I can get about and call an uber when I need to. When you're on instagram too much you feel disconnected, but when you're off you also feel disconnected; you don't know where the events are, where your friends are, what's happening in the world and it can feel a little gross to not be apart of the resharing and uplifting of voices. I'm trying to live in between now. Sometimes when I need a few days i'll just ask my partner to hide my iphone from me and go back to the t9 texting days....it's a mess. Hope you find a balance!
yes yes I have tried the flip phone / light phone way and it just ends up making me feel entirely TOO disconnected. love that you're working to find that middle path of using both - which like you said can feel like its own little mess. it takes what it takes!
I've been debating on and off for the last few weeks if I should take a break from IG. This was the little push from the universe I needed, so thank you :) Like you, when I took a break from the platform last year I was more creative and productive than any other time of the year. After rejoining sometime in late 2023, I've felt more disconnected, isolated, distracted, and further away from my work, my values and goals. The reward of connecting with people, my community, and hello - MYSELF - IRL or in other, less shitty areas of the internet (like Zoom), is far greater than what the platform offers at the moment.
Yes I so badly want to end the facts that the two biggest chunks of time I have taken off of IG I made more money, had more fun, and was more available.
Cody! This was so helpful to read as I continue to wrestle with my own addictive patterns around social media—I don't use it for work; for me it's more of a friend-making-and-keeping framework. I'm still definitely trying to do the moderation thing, and it's kind of exhausting, the mental energy that takes. So glad to hear you're finding a way forward that's right for you.
With you on the friend making and keeping framework <3 That is a really hard part of leaving for me too. Trying to just trust that who I have in my circle is enough and we will find each other :)
Yes, I've been on and off, too, and I miss a lot of events, engagements, and just generally great things my friends are doing if I'm totally disconnected from Instagram. I keep reminding my friends, though, that I won't use it as much, and if they need anything, they need to message me on WhatsApp.
Back in September, your letter announcing you left the grid for good is what spurred me to do the same after years of deactivation for brief moments. When you returned, I thought maybe it's possible to use the grid in a healthy, responsible way. I'm genuinely so grateful that you've reported your departure again, even if you said you wouldn't. It's reassuring to know that is it a drug, and those of us who know we can't use it responsibly need to stay away from it. So thank you for your honestly and vulnerability!
Also, I'm curious about Window Place! I'm not in the states currently, but am looking for a direction when I do return. Is there a current time frame for which your looking to host residents? Thanks!
I've been going back and forth as well! I was more active in the past few months because I was sharing things about Gaza, but I started feeling burnt out at the end of April, so I cut down on my usage. I think it's totally normal to go back and forth. Like with many other things in life, it's about constantly rebalancing what serves us well and what doesn't. I'm trying to be more gentle on myself. We learn to live until the day we die. Still, thank you for being transparent :) It normalises things for all of us when reading these things. Have a great start to the week 🖤
I just want to say that I found you on Skillshare as Cody Cook-Parrott because I was looking for some guidance on how to start writing on Substack, which led me to follow you on Substack and not long after that I became a paying subscriber. It was the tiniest bit confusing at first because you had just changed your name, but it didn’t take me long to figure it all out. The reason I’m telling you all of this is because I found you without social media, and I believe others will too! I still have an Instagram and a Facebook account, but I stay away from them for the most part because they take precious time away from me and don’t add any value to my life. I only use Instagram when I need to check on a favorite food truck (no joke), and Facebook I maybe check in with about 1-2 times a year. My life is happier without them, and I still manage to find my people.
Thank you so much for sharing your journey Cody, so much you've said resonates with me. Proud to say I announced today that my own last day of IG will be next month.
Thank you so much for sharing this, Cody. I need to hear this message again and again - not because of Instagram (which I quit last year), but because of Notes (which has become - for me - an unhealthy substitution). I don’t plan to quit Notes just yet. But I do plan to use my move to another country in June as an opportunity to radically shift my relationship with it. Then, we’ll see from there. Each day that passes, Notes feels more and more like the other platforms I’ve quit. I imagine that some folks can use these platforms in moderation; I’m not sure I can. And increasingly, any time on them feels unhelpful.
Sending gratitude and wishes for clarity and ease on your own path with it all!
Yes yes I have tried to engage with Notes a few times and it always leaves me feeling that same sort of emptiness. Plus having a feed that is just all humans I have ever consented to following or knowing is a horrible feeling to me!
I understand where you're coming from, Dana! I've been reflecting on my behaviour and am a bit sceptical too. I don't want to give up notes entirely because I discover many beautiful writers and posts there. Still, I want to go back to spending more time in my inbox reading all the amazing writers I've subscribed to rather than mindlessly scrolling through notes.
Thanks for sharing ur experiments. It helps with designing my experiments :) Current experiment: back on IG after 3 month detox. Not sharing in stories (dont want to contribute content to the main thing that got me trapped) and mostly viewing on the computer, not having it on the phone. Just took a trip and didnt have it on my phone, shared pictures after being back home.
I am so glad that I am not addicted to that app. I never use it and I never have the feeling that I am missing something. These apps are here to spy on us, to use our information, to manipulate and to make us feel separate from each other. What I also don’t like about that app is that the majority of users show themselves as sex objects. I would prefer to see more people out there who still have their dignity, not showing their sacred bodies, their temples of love to random people for likes. This shows the craziness that we’re living in. It’s all about attention and sex, ego driven bullshit behavior. I pray for a world where we truly realize that we are sacred living beings ❤️
My triple air self always relates when you write about being a tornado person & your relationship to social media. I’ve also been reviewing how I use it since you announced leaving last year, I realised I simply didn’t have clear boundaries around being there, at least there are some now 🌀 I know I can’t hangout there for too long…
I end up removing the substack app for the same reason, the same patterns of use show up so easily here.
Thank you for sharing the pivots in your dynamics with Instagram. It can feel very hard to have boundaries around the platform, something I’m trying to have as well and it is feeling more like an obligation than something I enjoy. You sharing your feelings is helping me and so many others.
thank you for saying so barry <3
Exactly! It normalises things for all of us. Makes us all human 🖤
When I fear that I won't meet new people or find new work because I'm not on social media, I remember the wonderful people I've met in the near 3 years I've been writing my newsletter. These are new people I can have coffee with when I visit their city, or meet for a run or go on a hike or take photos with in a new place. Just because everyone is on every social media network doesn't mean I need to be there for the possibility of maybe meeting new / more people... and honestly that sounds exhausting! A newsletter is enough for me.
Yes :) I can meet people so many places - a newsletter is enough for me!
This is so real. It feels unescapable! I got a flip phone a couple months ago and was offline for a couple months, only checking in occassionally from my ipad. The flip phone is on a second line so that I can get about and call an uber when I need to. When you're on instagram too much you feel disconnected, but when you're off you also feel disconnected; you don't know where the events are, where your friends are, what's happening in the world and it can feel a little gross to not be apart of the resharing and uplifting of voices. I'm trying to live in between now. Sometimes when I need a few days i'll just ask my partner to hide my iphone from me and go back to the t9 texting days....it's a mess. Hope you find a balance!
yes yes I have tried the flip phone / light phone way and it just ends up making me feel entirely TOO disconnected. love that you're working to find that middle path of using both - which like you said can feel like its own little mess. it takes what it takes!
I've been debating on and off for the last few weeks if I should take a break from IG. This was the little push from the universe I needed, so thank you :) Like you, when I took a break from the platform last year I was more creative and productive than any other time of the year. After rejoining sometime in late 2023, I've felt more disconnected, isolated, distracted, and further away from my work, my values and goals. The reward of connecting with people, my community, and hello - MYSELF - IRL or in other, less shitty areas of the internet (like Zoom), is far greater than what the platform offers at the moment.
Yes I so badly want to end the facts that the two biggest chunks of time I have taken off of IG I made more money, had more fun, and was more available.
Cody! This was so helpful to read as I continue to wrestle with my own addictive patterns around social media—I don't use it for work; for me it's more of a friend-making-and-keeping framework. I'm still definitely trying to do the moderation thing, and it's kind of exhausting, the mental energy that takes. So glad to hear you're finding a way forward that's right for you.
With you on the friend making and keeping framework <3 That is a really hard part of leaving for me too. Trying to just trust that who I have in my circle is enough and we will find each other :)
Yes, I've been on and off, too, and I miss a lot of events, engagements, and just generally great things my friends are doing if I'm totally disconnected from Instagram. I keep reminding my friends, though, that I won't use it as much, and if they need anything, they need to message me on WhatsApp.
Hi Cody,
Back in September, your letter announcing you left the grid for good is what spurred me to do the same after years of deactivation for brief moments. When you returned, I thought maybe it's possible to use the grid in a healthy, responsible way. I'm genuinely so grateful that you've reported your departure again, even if you said you wouldn't. It's reassuring to know that is it a drug, and those of us who know we can't use it responsibly need to stay away from it. So thank you for your honestly and vulnerability!
Also, I'm curious about Window Place! I'm not in the states currently, but am looking for a direction when I do return. Is there a current time frame for which your looking to host residents? Thanks!
Oh this is such a helpful reflection! Window Place applications are open now for June 1- September 30 :) https://www.windowplace.space/residency
Money class birthday party CANNOT WAIT 😍
What a gift to give myself!
I've been going back and forth as well! I was more active in the past few months because I was sharing things about Gaza, but I started feeling burnt out at the end of April, so I cut down on my usage. I think it's totally normal to go back and forth. Like with many other things in life, it's about constantly rebalancing what serves us well and what doesn't. I'm trying to be more gentle on myself. We learn to live until the day we die. Still, thank you for being transparent :) It normalises things for all of us when reading these things. Have a great start to the week 🖤
Yes yes to being gentle with ourselves <3
I just want to say that I found you on Skillshare as Cody Cook-Parrott because I was looking for some guidance on how to start writing on Substack, which led me to follow you on Substack and not long after that I became a paying subscriber. It was the tiniest bit confusing at first because you had just changed your name, but it didn’t take me long to figure it all out. The reason I’m telling you all of this is because I found you without social media, and I believe others will too! I still have an Instagram and a Facebook account, but I stay away from them for the most part because they take precious time away from me and don’t add any value to my life. I only use Instagram when I need to check on a favorite food truck (no joke), and Facebook I maybe check in with about 1-2 times a year. My life is happier without them, and I still manage to find my people.
this is so encouraging to read thank you Bree!
Thank you so much for sharing your journey Cody, so much you've said resonates with me. Proud to say I announced today that my own last day of IG will be next month.
yessss congrats holly! be free!
I loved this letter so much.
I love you so much
Thank you so much for sharing this, Cody. I need to hear this message again and again - not because of Instagram (which I quit last year), but because of Notes (which has become - for me - an unhealthy substitution). I don’t plan to quit Notes just yet. But I do plan to use my move to another country in June as an opportunity to radically shift my relationship with it. Then, we’ll see from there. Each day that passes, Notes feels more and more like the other platforms I’ve quit. I imagine that some folks can use these platforms in moderation; I’m not sure I can. And increasingly, any time on them feels unhelpful.
Sending gratitude and wishes for clarity and ease on your own path with it all!
Yes yes I have tried to engage with Notes a few times and it always leaves me feeling that same sort of emptiness. Plus having a feed that is just all humans I have ever consented to following or knowing is a horrible feeling to me!
I understand where you're coming from, Dana! I've been reflecting on my behaviour and am a bit sceptical too. I don't want to give up notes entirely because I discover many beautiful writers and posts there. Still, I want to go back to spending more time in my inbox reading all the amazing writers I've subscribed to rather than mindlessly scrolling through notes.
Thanks for sharing ur experiments. It helps with designing my experiments :) Current experiment: back on IG after 3 month detox. Not sharing in stories (dont want to contribute content to the main thing that got me trapped) and mostly viewing on the computer, not having it on the phone. Just took a trip and didnt have it on my phone, shared pictures after being back home.
I am so glad that I am not addicted to that app. I never use it and I never have the feeling that I am missing something. These apps are here to spy on us, to use our information, to manipulate and to make us feel separate from each other. What I also don’t like about that app is that the majority of users show themselves as sex objects. I would prefer to see more people out there who still have their dignity, not showing their sacred bodies, their temples of love to random people for likes. This shows the craziness that we’re living in. It’s all about attention and sex, ego driven bullshit behavior. I pray for a world where we truly realize that we are sacred living beings ❤️
My triple air self always relates when you write about being a tornado person & your relationship to social media. I’ve also been reviewing how I use it since you announced leaving last year, I realised I simply didn’t have clear boundaries around being there, at least there are some now 🌀 I know I can’t hangout there for too long…
I end up removing the substack app for the same reason, the same patterns of use show up so easily here.
Thank you for sharing back! 🌞
Gemini twin! I feel you. 🫂 So much love for the pod shout out and saluting you as you stand on spirit. 🖤