14 Comments

Ok, slow claps over here for the mention of Delilah (who is a legit compass from childhood who has deeply informed my own work in this world) and also for this Lyndsey Buckingham song. (Have you seen the episode of Northern Exposure that features this song? If not, high recommendation over here from a person who doesn't watch shows much).

Lastly, I love this sharing. I love imagining a special person, with ripe timing, arriving in your life and being dumbfounded at the beauty you've been tending and are wishing to share. And holy wow, we truly need so many more transparent sharings about "unconventional" relating options, room to meet in deep commitments, devotions and loving explorations when we're not necessarily looking to pair bond or follow well-worn roads. I hold such deep learnings in my own life about this, and really appreciate when others voice their experiences, questions, longings, possibilities and wisdoms...

Expand full comment

"I want my imagination of what partnership could be to expand beyond the realm of what I have known." Throwing my own adoration & intention & magic behind your love spell 🖤

Expand full comment

My friend had a website called ‘Date a Lesbian Adventurer’ and it had a similar vibe to your Google form but she also had her pics and bio on it. It went viral for a minute. She found love for a couple seasons on it and had fun with it but then closed that chapter. It was pretty epic. Also , love that doc you referenced in a photo, ‘Fire of love’.

Expand full comment

I love everything about this, and also it reminded me of this amazing list of queer first date Qs that I want to ask everyone I love all the time! https://www.mixedfeelings.earth/p/sapphic-speed-dating-first-date-questions

Expand full comment

this resonates so much as a probably-ace dyke living here too🥲 oh to meet a lover in the oryana parking lot, or a field, a field somewhere would be my dream spot hahaha! will be thinking about the idea of a spell….and releasing desperation for freedom

Expand full comment

well I live in a queer dating hub & it is still hard to find someone lol, I continue to bet on someone sent from another realm, planet, time & who is wildly attracted to my more than slightly feral & contradictory nature & then just let god take care of the rest, not exactly a dating plan per se but it works if you believe

Expand full comment

"my more than slightly feral & contradictory nature" obsessed with this phrasing!

Expand full comment

hahahah it's trueeeeeeeeee

Expand full comment

I really love the haphazard nature of the love-finding options you have listed. & Nicole and I have known one another for a very, very long time—it makes me happy to see her name pop up in your newsletter. She interviewed me for her podcast before I had ever published any books, and she has always been so wise and also so ready to explore. I think of you that way, too.

Expand full comment

Esmé! This is such a lovely thing to say, I'm so touched. I see you in that same wise & exploratory way.

Expand full comment

Hi hi hi! That’s really lovely of you to say and I’m holding it in my heart.

Expand full comment

Mutual love fest allllll around!

Expand full comment

I tried to click on "maybe" and then tried again on "yes" for your quilt in a day poll, but "something went wrong". I am sending love your way, and hoping that you find who you're looking for. I've been happily unmarried with my partner for 27 years now, and even though relationships can be hard at times, I find it to be a worthwhile endeavor. My Grandma Jan used to say, "put in your order, and leave it alone". I don't know if that helps, but knowing who and what you want goes a long way.

Expand full comment

Really appreciate you sharing your experience here and making me feel less alone in my own. I've dated one person in the last four years and oooooh my has it been a challenge on many levels. I finally just had to abandon the apps, feeling like they were an energy suck just like Instagram. I've considered doing something like your Google sheet or a website, but simply haven't had the motivation to follow through. All I can think to do is pray and stay open and try to keep showing up in spaces I want to be in. May the love we seek find its way into our lives one day soon.

Expand full comment