I so vividly remember the morning in February 2020 when I deleted the gmail app from my phone. For hours and days and weeks afterward I was just, like, refreshing the weather app? Like okay but what is the temperature NOW and how about NOW and NOW and NOW. Solidarity in this and all things, is what I'm saying.
Also: "I ask god to enter everything I do just before me so that I am never truly alone." Ugh, my heart. Needed this reminder. Thanks, friend💜
Nov 6, 2023·edited Nov 6, 2023Liked by Cody Cook-Parrott
I love the quote by Zeba! It’s been tough times for many of us in the past weeks. There have been times these past weeks when I needed to disconnect, at least mentally. If I didn’t, I would have burned out. My mind is confused about what and how to create in these times. I keep going back and forth between wanting to write about things that make people feel light and cheerful to I want to share openly how I feel, even if it's heavy and dark. That said, my survival as a Muslim woman depends on fighting against oppression, so like Nina Simone said: “I think that the artists who don’t get involved in preaching messages probably are happier—but you see, I have to live with Nina, and that is very difficult.”, yes, my life would be a lot more relaxed if I didn’t have to preach to people, but I have to live with myself.
ugh, thank you. Checking my email for validation (what I was doing when I received this note), has been a habit for years. Consistently curious about what else is possible.
I left social media over two weeks ago and am on a media fast, so I relate very much to this. I had to take all the apps off my phone, including email, because I kept checking them. Now my phone is like a little and very expensive inanimate object, which both brings me joy and sorrow. How strange to have been tethered to it for so long. Without it I reckon with how alone I am. But I was more alone before, maybe, because so many of my connections were superficial. Still, I struggle. I'm here with you in that and so very appreciative of your continued commitment to sharing your innermost experiences with us. <3
Oh, the refresh. I know it far too well. I'm sober from alcohol but am finding my addiction to external validation much tougher (maybe impossible) to beat. This is true even though I've already quit most social media. For me, it's the email checking. And now, my Substack Dashboard. Even in my comments and posts and writing, I see it there. The longing for...belonging.
This resonates so deeply for me. It's so hard for me to be in this space where I know and want that the best thing is to get validation from myself, and still I'm constantly looking outside myself (email, yes! Substack dashboard, yes! sometimes also anywhere from the weather app to the tide chart, like -- someone say something nice about me, the wind, the tide, anything!).
Ooo...the weather app! And yeah, I find that when I quit one thing (like Facebook), my addict brain is already reaching for another. Something about that "checking energy"...
I quit Instagram at the same time and I’ve definitely noticed a huge difference in my mental health, so much so it’s really cemented my knowing that it’s not something I should return to at any point. I’ve been focusing my old “refresh” itch to Goodreads and getting excited about what to read next, discovering new authors and it’s been a really nice.
I love the refocus of the refresh. I let myself fuck around on Pinterest sometimes and its really nice because it gives me that little bolt of connection and inspiration but I never want to be on it for more than a few minutes :) Maybe I'll try a little good reads refresh <3
sitting with your incredible words that both sum up and dissect how i have been feeling. but also want to plug nicole lavelle's print that i have framed next to my closet so i see it every morning as i get ready. it has made me pay more attention, and instead of running to instagram to share about all i've seen, i try to work on just sitting with my observations, keepin 'em just for me.
I so vividly remember the morning in February 2020 when I deleted the gmail app from my phone. For hours and days and weeks afterward I was just, like, refreshing the weather app? Like okay but what is the temperature NOW and how about NOW and NOW and NOW. Solidarity in this and all things, is what I'm saying.
Also: "I ask god to enter everything I do just before me so that I am never truly alone." Ugh, my heart. Needed this reminder. Thanks, friend💜
NO GMAIL APP = ICONIC
everyone's secret addiction has been revealed #help
I love the quote by Zeba! It’s been tough times for many of us in the past weeks. There have been times these past weeks when I needed to disconnect, at least mentally. If I didn’t, I would have burned out. My mind is confused about what and how to create in these times. I keep going back and forth between wanting to write about things that make people feel light and cheerful to I want to share openly how I feel, even if it's heavy and dark. That said, my survival as a Muslim woman depends on fighting against oppression, so like Nina Simone said: “I think that the artists who don’t get involved in preaching messages probably are happier—but you see, I have to live with Nina, and that is very difficult.”, yes, my life would be a lot more relaxed if I didn’t have to preach to people, but I have to live with myself.
beautiful sentiment <3 thank you for sharing this. yes my life might be easier if XYZ but I have to live with myself. sending ease
ugh, thank you. Checking my email for validation (what I was doing when I received this note), has been a habit for years. Consistently curious about what else is possible.
yessss what a great question - WHAT ELSE IS POSSIBLE?
I left social media over two weeks ago and am on a media fast, so I relate very much to this. I had to take all the apps off my phone, including email, because I kept checking them. Now my phone is like a little and very expensive inanimate object, which both brings me joy and sorrow. How strange to have been tethered to it for so long. Without it I reckon with how alone I am. But I was more alone before, maybe, because so many of my connections were superficial. Still, I struggle. I'm here with you in that and so very appreciative of your continued commitment to sharing your innermost experiences with us. <3
yes yes the joy and the sorrow in simultaneous ebbs and flows! with you <3
Oh, the refresh. I know it far too well. I'm sober from alcohol but am finding my addiction to external validation much tougher (maybe impossible) to beat. This is true even though I've already quit most social media. For me, it's the email checking. And now, my Substack Dashboard. Even in my comments and posts and writing, I see it there. The longing for...belonging.
yes yes twelve years of sobriety here and still in the thick of validation healing 💛 wild ride xo
This resonates so deeply for me. It's so hard for me to be in this space where I know and want that the best thing is to get validation from myself, and still I'm constantly looking outside myself (email, yes! Substack dashboard, yes! sometimes also anywhere from the weather app to the tide chart, like -- someone say something nice about me, the wind, the tide, anything!).
if the wind could say nice things about me I'd be all set
the secret is if you listen, the wind will say whatever you want
the tides aren't always so pleasant, however
in my experience
Ooo...the weather app! And yeah, I find that when I quit one thing (like Facebook), my addict brain is already reaching for another. Something about that "checking energy"...
I love this newsletter SO much.
thanks for reading <3
Thank you for sharing so I can feel less alone in the habitual email checking.
it seems to me you are def not alone!
I quit Instagram at the same time and I’ve definitely noticed a huge difference in my mental health, so much so it’s really cemented my knowing that it’s not something I should return to at any point. I’ve been focusing my old “refresh” itch to Goodreads and getting excited about what to read next, discovering new authors and it’s been a really nice.
I love the refocus of the refresh. I let myself fuck around on Pinterest sometimes and its really nice because it gives me that little bolt of connection and inspiration but I never want to be on it for more than a few minutes :) Maybe I'll try a little good reads refresh <3
sitting with your incredible words that both sum up and dissect how i have been feeling. but also want to plug nicole lavelle's print that i have framed next to my closet so i see it every morning as i get ready. it has made me pay more attention, and instead of running to instagram to share about all i've seen, i try to work on just sitting with my observations, keepin 'em just for me.
nicole's print here! https://buyolympia.com/Item/nicole-lavelle-inspired-by-my-mom
yessss i love this print :)