This past week I moved into a new studio up the road in the one block town stretch of Cedar, the place I call home. I feel gratitude to share a studio with my friend Meg, surrounded by her 50+ year career of whacky creativity and magic. Intergenerational Gemini friendship magic for the win. I feel excited to see where this place takes me as I work through school projects and vision new quilt ideas.
I dragged my heels making this decision, not because I can’t afford it but because I wasn’t sure I was worthy or that I could justify it. I already have a room in my house for sewing. How audacious of me to give myself a space just for art making. I knew what really drew me in - the big windows, the window bench, the company, being able to walk to the coffee shop and the post office, and needing to leave the house for work. Tucked into the woods by the meadow it is so easy to never leave, and to leave is to be in the world.
A note to those interested : After a few months break - my books for 1:1 Creative Advising Sessions are open. Check it out and grab a spot, there are only five.
IN TODAY’S YES YES ADVICE COLUMN
🪽 How my experiment has been going to paywall my essays
🪐 How to stop constantly striving to make more money
🫙 Chasing the feeling of having enough money
🫖 When to expand our business and when to rest
I am not a therapist and I have no training in advice giving. I am an artist, a writer, and a teacher of creative practice with a devotion to how we live. These are my opinions, my best shot at hope, and what I know from 35 years on the planet. As always, may you hold a gentle spirit while reading, take what you like, and leave the rest. Let’s dive in!
Dear Cody - I really struggle with feeling like I have enough money, even though this is the most I have ever made in my life and spent many years feeling like where I am today was never a real possibility. But now that I'm here, it doesn't feel like I can stop. or rest. There is something inside of me that keeps wanting more, and continues feeling that urgency that comes with scarcity. So much so that I have trouble differentiating between whether I want to offer more in my business because i can and it feels good and enriching, or am I just trying to find ways to make more money? Have you felt this way as you've expanded your offerings? How do I start to feel like i have enough so I can stop striving?
Dearest beautiful striver of all things good and holy,
I am not sure I have ever related to a question to this advice column more, specifically today when my money stories are in overdrive. So often it isn’t the amount of money I do or don’t have, but the story I tell myself about what it means.
The past few months I have been experimenting with putting my essays behind the paywall in addition to this advice column and it’s safe to say dear reader, I’ve hated it. Making money at the thing that is your most sacred creative playground is a dangerous game. One of great privilege and great burden.
I miss when the stakes were low, when every Monday I knew I would reach the masses with my tales of the week. The goodness in my heart overfloweth to show the people what life is like when you’re a tornado person and somehow manage to stay afloat. And this gift comes to no cost to the reader, a simple drop of hope in the bucket of life that is so draining and so heartbreaking its a miracle to write at all.
The goal was this : save enough money to keep the focus on grad school and have my work focus be to build more paid subscribers to the newsletter so that it would be a job that could support me through the month. Every time I work on the advice column it feels correct to have it be for paid subscribers, this was my original and only promise and it remains a beautiful thing to offer.
The other goals were : feel safer and more expansive in my writing by putting it behind the paywall. And to see a substantial increase in my annual newsletter income.