The dawn of the great garden experiment
The dawn of the great garden experiment
I’ve never grown a plant outdoors
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Welcome to my garden
Ellen built the raised beds
Isa explained how to decide where to put them by tracking the sun and layering them with cardboard, wood, twigs, and leaves
Izzy went to Home Depot with me to get a wheelbarrow and helped me layer the layers
It all looks like a quilt to me and the thing about quilting is you don’t have to know how it is going to end to cut the first few squares of fabric
I have no idea how to garden or how to grow a plant but I have had this vision of flower farming on the land I steward. I measured out space at the top of the meadow where I would put a hoop house for my flower farm but then my therapist reminded me that first I should learn to grow one flower before I spend $1700 on a hoop house.
I usually think if I get the big thing it will make me do the small thing, but the more I grow and heal the more I can actually do the small tasks first without trapping myself by going to the end.
So I did not buy the hoop house. Instead I traded Ellen time in my house for the beds, hired Isa to consult me and teach me how to garden, and Izzy came to stay and showed me how to layer the beds.
I then called a place in the next town over to deliver dirt and compost to me. It’s a 50/50 mix and thank goodness Isa and Izzy explained this all to me because I probably would have bought a bag of potting soil and tried my best. There are other steps after that before you put the plants and seeds in the dirt but for now these are the steps.
I have never grown a plant outside. I am able to keep plants alive indoors now but for most of my adult life I was unable to do that either. I haven’t ever tried to grow a plant outside but one time when John had a small garden in our back yard he asked if I could go out and cut some chives and bring them back in. I did that and then we laughed because I had brought in grass and sprinkled it on our eggs.
I know what a flower is and what a bird is and what a tree is and what a bush is and what good coffee is and church basement coffee is. But I have a hard time maintaining knowledge about the intricacies of these things.
I got little cups and seed starting soil to start seeds. I don’t know how to do that, but my boyfriend is coming over today and he knows about gardening so I am hoping that he can maybe tell me. If he doesn’t know I will go back to the google document Isa made me and see what she says or text her and ask.
I have six total raised beds and I think I will use three for food and three for flowers. I was going to immediately fence in some of it so the deer and rabbits don’t eat anything but my boyfriend said - try waiting one season to experiment and see what happens and it isn’t the worst thing if some of the tomatoes go to the groundhogs they need snacks too.
There are so many leaves on the ground so we put those in the beds and the soil gets delivered next week. Once the soil gets delivered I will ask someone how to plant kale because I hear that is hearty and works well when it is still cold outside.
I used to be really embarrassed that I didn’t know how to grow things outside or name plants and birds. Now I just ask for help because learning is so cool! I can’t wait to figure out how to put things in the soil and watch them grow. I can’t wait to pick a tomato off a vine and eat it. I want to grow dill too but Izzy said its a bitch to grow.
I am not a gardener yet I am just a weaver of twigs in a rectangle in the yard, but soon I will be! It is the dawn before the sunrise, the beginning before the start. Everything is a beginning, and when I get too many steps ahead or think I need every book on how to do the thing I cannot learn. I have to point to a plant and say - what is that plant? I have to ask the bird what bird it is. I have to order the soil to plant the seed.
May you be a beginner in front of yourself and others, may it spark new ways of knowing
Izzy sent me these and I found them helpful
Physical gardens has me thinking about
writing on Digital Gardens
Listening to this while I write
I wrote about boy4boy relationships, how my sexuality shifted when my gender did, sapphic love, and the documentary The Whistle in my Yes Yes advice column (you can also listen to it)
This beautiful quilt from Cyrah
Ellen Rutt started Studio For Now with her studio mate emilia nawrocki : A queer-led, artist-run studio and community event space located in Detroit’s North End neighborhood. They just hosted a life drawing event with live models and it looked so amazing! Follow along to stay tuned for more events
The next Flexible Office visioning session is Monday May 22 and your first two weeks are always free, come join us
A Greenwood Quilt Memorial creating quilts to raffle (you can participate from anywhere) in honor of the 18,000 quilts that were burned in the Tulsa Race Massacre (Hirsch 2002), resulting in a loss of history and connection to family and community as well as the practical warmth quilts provide.
You have until May 14 to mail in a block!
“Join us to create a collaborative memorial effort through quilting as a restorative and reparative act—join a quilting group and make a quilt to memorialize what was lost and what remains in Tulsa! All ages and abilities are welcome! If you don’t know how to quilt, we’ll teach you! Quilt groups will meet in Tulsa, OKC, and online. Masks required for in-person meetings to keep our community safe.”
Check out more on their website
Thank you as always to Dr. Jes Bailey who shared the above and just shared her amazing quilt history bibliography - watching quilts as community care projects, gifts, and ways of being brings me more in touch with hope and grief than anything else
Tomorrow at 12:30pm EST I have my top surgery revision! I am SO excited to be less dysphoric (the dog ears really widen the look of my chest and have been a tough part of the healing process) Candles lit and prayers welcomed, thank you for being on the gender journey with me
A portion of May’s paid subscriptions goes towards the Southern Trans Youth Emergency Project
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⌇⋰ Email : info@marleegrace.space
⌇⋰ PO Box 252 Cedar, MI 49621
"I usually think if I get the big thing it will make me do the small thing, but the more I grow and heal the more I can actually do the small tasks first without trapping myself by going to the end." this reminder, forever and ever and ever please
I love when people learn to garden, especially in adult life. I have been a gardener since I was three, when my mother taught me to tamp bean seeds in soil with my tiny chubby feet and dig up potatoes. A favorite memory: my grandfather growing Tommytoes for me every year because I would get excited to pick them. I had my own area of his garden full of those little red tomatoes. I remember it well. I love that you are taking this garden ride and are open to reaching out, learning, and moving slowly. I still learn and constantly mess things up all these years later. I’ve been in a just slightly different area and temp zone for the last 3 years than I was for over 20. Sometimes that feels like starting over in many ways. We are also now in the woods with deer, raccoons, bears, escaping neighbor cows. I am just now learning to create barriers to save my plants, but also appreciate the curious nibble here and there. Good luck and fun on your garden adventure!