I'm gaaaaaay!
I'm gaaaaaay!
Yes Yes Advice Column
Things of note :
🪟 The following recordings are available inside of Landscapes : Visioning session hosted by me, workshop with
, and BIPOC Writers Circle with :) Landscapes is a sliding scale writing group for all genres and we meet every Tuesday and Thursday for two hours to write🪞 This issue of The Yes Yes Advice Column has a paywall break. This way you can see the question and decide if you want to know the advice I give behind it. May this transparency lead you to read further or leave now. There are no comped subscriptions at this time but I hope you enjoy the many free issues of Monday Monday available to you.
Welcome to Yes Yes - my advice column tucked into the Monday Monday newsletter. It is the five o clock hour and I have been awake since 4:30am. It is rare for me to not be able to sleep but here we are.
I like to be awake during this time, when the whole world is seemingly still asleep. The sun doesn't come up for another hour and a half. It is quiet in my mind and in my body. I get my best writing and reading done before, during, and after this emergence of the day.
Paying attention to what hours, what days of the week, and what times in my cycle are best for each of my creative practices has brought me great peace over the years.
I am not a therapist and I have no training in advice giving. I am an artist, a writer, and a teacher of creative practice with a devotion to how we live. These are my opinions, my best shot at hope, and what I know from 36 years on the planet. As always, may you hold a gentle spirit while reading, take what you like, and leave the rest. Let’s dive in!
Dear sweet Cody,
I’m 36 and I have been following you for years and this past year it finally clicked for me why I was following not only your work but your story, so closely…I’m gaaaaaaay! I came out slowly over the last 4 years but the big “come out” was when I left my husband in January 2023. The divorce was finalized this month and I find myself feeling awake and so scared.
I’m feeling parts of myself open up and some of those parts are not so aligned with the people/places/things I used to feel connected to. I’m having a harder time relating to straight people and am NERVOUS AF around queers. I feel like a teenager, I want to proclaim IM GAY to anyone I meet while also wanting to hide in a corner at queer events. I’m a freshman at orientation looking for some direction, who are the cool kids and how do I find my people? And how do I hold this grief while also trying to build something new?
Love, Hello/Goodbye
Dearest awake reader!
Straight people can be really scary so it makes total sense you are having a hard time relating to them. As someone who is a viewer of the Bachelor franchise I am watching the current season of The Bachelorette and while gathered with a gaggle of homos to stream I ask aloud - are straight people ok? The television program shows me there are indeed a faction of straight people who are not ok!
The good news is queer people aren’t ok either. Who is ok in these times? Alas, we must find our people - straight, gay, proudly bisexual - and we must hold them close to stay in this magic new space you are in. You're gay! Congratulations. God has given me so many gifts and being a queer person is one of them.
But how do we hold the grief of change and let this euphoric gay joy pour in? You get to be the new annoying gay kid on the block, and you will be loved.
You actually can just proclaim “I'M GAY” to everyone
You will be that incessant gay friend. The one who everyone is like … we get it, you’re gay now. We know you need every t-shirt that says DYKE or you need to immediately go to the Lesbian Herstory Archives and you also need to thrift a copy of Our Right To Love.